For the existential scifi fan in all of us.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
War and Peace: Picking the Better Path, or Why I am a Hindu
Recently, life handed me a bunch of lemons. Then it handed me some more. And then it handed me something else -- let's just say I was in deep without a shovel. And of course, I came out on the other side no worse for the wear, and in fact I learned a very interesting lesson along the way.
By nature, I am a fighter. I don't roll over, I don't give up. This has generally served me well in life, but as I grew older I began to move towards a more balanced approach - one that incorporated a little acceptance now and then. Before you go telling me that these are opposing and contradictory ideas, let me just say that yes they are -- but that does not mean they cannot coexist! In fact, implicit in the very concept of balance is the notion of two opposing forces! But I digress.
For a while I had been on a very active roll -- taking a very active (not passive) approach to shaping the reality around me. There were a few knocks along the way, but still I marched forth. Until one day, the blow was just too hard, and it knocked me flat on my existential ass. Being one to really learn lessons the hard way, I knew that this was my cue to give up the driver's seat. "Ok Life, I give up. Whatever you're doing, I'm done trying. Peace, out." Then after a few weeks of riding the tao like a leaf on a river, things become clear again and life is all rainbows and butterflies, and I move on.
This time was different, however. This time the Universe continued to kick me while I was down, which is a really rotten thing to do. Nevertheless, I picked myself up each time, dusted off, and continued in my acceptance. After all, desire causes suffering, right? Buddha would want me to just sit back and see what lesson came out of this, right?
Every time I felt myself scratching my way out of the hole, the Universe pushed me back in. Finally, I had enough. I said, "F**k this, Cosmos! You wanna piece of me, bring it, bitch!" And lo! I instantly felt better! And I've felt my old self ever since.
So what, you may ask, is the lesson? It's that the way of peace and acceptance is a fine and worthy goal, but it may not be for all of us. Yes, it has served me well over the years, but sometimes, you just gotta pick up that sword and go into battle. Well, maybe you don't, but I do.
I reminds me of a story arc in Xena: Warrior Princess. Xena and Gabby meet up with Eli, a man of peace. Gabby ends up throwing her kick-ass staff into a river and vowing to give up violence. A philosophical discussion ensued, regarding the path of peace versus the "Way of the Warrior." Several episodes and adventures later, Gabby comes to realize that her path is not the path of peace but that of the warrior. It's all about accepting your fate in life, otherwise known as dharma.
And this is why, several years ago, I realized I wasn't a Buddhist but a Hindu. I can strive to achieve inner peace and all that, but ultimately I am a warrior. Maybe in some future life I will attain Buddha-like acceptance, but not in this one -- no matter how hard I try. To deny my dharma will only bring me further suffering. As I Buddhist I would be expected to deny that dharma, to seek a higher way of living. As a Hindu, however, I can accept that "fate" for this life -- while continuing to grow and evolve of course, but with less pressure.
I had pretty much found a nice little balance for myself this way. But recent events really highlighted the issue in a way I didn't expect. The take-away message for me was this: it's ok to go with the flow and see if life is really going to bring something better your way -- but at some point it's time to get medieval on its ass.
By nature, I am a fighter. I don't roll over, I don't give up. This has generally served me well in life, but as I grew older I began to move towards a more balanced approach - one that incorporated a little acceptance now and then. Before you go telling me that these are opposing and contradictory ideas, let me just say that yes they are -- but that does not mean they cannot coexist! In fact, implicit in the very concept of balance is the notion of two opposing forces! But I digress.
For a while I had been on a very active roll -- taking a very active (not passive) approach to shaping the reality around me. There were a few knocks along the way, but still I marched forth. Until one day, the blow was just too hard, and it knocked me flat on my existential ass. Being one to really learn lessons the hard way, I knew that this was my cue to give up the driver's seat. "Ok Life, I give up. Whatever you're doing, I'm done trying. Peace, out." Then after a few weeks of riding the tao like a leaf on a river, things become clear again and life is all rainbows and butterflies, and I move on.
This time was different, however. This time the Universe continued to kick me while I was down, which is a really rotten thing to do. Nevertheless, I picked myself up each time, dusted off, and continued in my acceptance. After all, desire causes suffering, right? Buddha would want me to just sit back and see what lesson came out of this, right?
Every time I felt myself scratching my way out of the hole, the Universe pushed me back in. Finally, I had enough. I said, "F**k this, Cosmos! You wanna piece of me, bring it, bitch!" And lo! I instantly felt better! And I've felt my old self ever since.
So what, you may ask, is the lesson? It's that the way of peace and acceptance is a fine and worthy goal, but it may not be for all of us. Yes, it has served me well over the years, but sometimes, you just gotta pick up that sword and go into battle. Well, maybe you don't, but I do.
I reminds me of a story arc in Xena: Warrior Princess. Xena and Gabby meet up with Eli, a man of peace. Gabby ends up throwing her kick-ass staff into a river and vowing to give up violence. A philosophical discussion ensued, regarding the path of peace versus the "Way of the Warrior." Several episodes and adventures later, Gabby comes to realize that her path is not the path of peace but that of the warrior. It's all about accepting your fate in life, otherwise known as dharma.
And this is why, several years ago, I realized I wasn't a Buddhist but a Hindu. I can strive to achieve inner peace and all that, but ultimately I am a warrior. Maybe in some future life I will attain Buddha-like acceptance, but not in this one -- no matter how hard I try. To deny my dharma will only bring me further suffering. As I Buddhist I would be expected to deny that dharma, to seek a higher way of living. As a Hindu, however, I can accept that "fate" for this life -- while continuing to grow and evolve of course, but with less pressure.
I had pretty much found a nice little balance for myself this way. But recent events really highlighted the issue in a way I didn't expect. The take-away message for me was this: it's ok to go with the flow and see if life is really going to bring something better your way -- but at some point it's time to get medieval on its ass.
Existential Walkabout
Where's the Manifesto been, you ask? Taking a little stroll through the dark woods. But we're back, with a new post coming soon! Stay tuned!
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